I admit that I am one of those gals who has been dreaming of my wedding since I was little. The dress was always a big part of the dream, I pictured myself looking like this, this or like this:
But the day Jason and I got engaged I knew that finding my dream dress wasn’t gonna be so easy. What I didn’t know was that as a pregnant, size-14 vintage-clothing-lover on a budget it would be damn near impossible.
Now, please allow me to rant for just a minute.
First off, what designer genius decided that bridal gown sizes should be two sizes larger than ‘street’ sizes, so that if you normally wear a size 14 all of the sudden you wear an 18? Yikes. Talk about makin’ a gal feel insecure.
Second of all, why doesn’t someone make a line of stretchy wedding gowns? Ever hear of silk jersey and stretch-lace, people? I think there could be a fortune to be had– I mean, look at the popularity of stretch pants and jeggings? Women like to be comfortable, yes? Yes!
Third of all, and I’m just keeping it real here, there are a lot of big ladies here in the US. In fact, when I’m out on the streets I see plenty of gals who are much, much larger than me–and a lot of us have good GREAT taste and I’m wondering why we should be subject to a shitty selection of ugly dresses on a marginalized portion of an already mediocre wedding dress website? Can you tell I’m frustrated?
After giving up totally on finding my dream vintage Mexican wedding dress (or any vintage wedding dress for that matter) that fit me, I–even just for the experience of trying on ‘real’ gowns–went to David’s Bridal.
Gulp. Talk about depressing. They have a ‘plus size’ section and I could barely even fit into any of those dresses, that, quite frankly, were totally not ‘me’ anyway. I looked like a caramelized marshmallow in most of them, not exactly the look I’m going for.
So I got home that night as had pretty much resigned myself to getting a dress at JCrew.
God bless J Crew, they go up to size 20 (Dear BHLDN, why don’t you follow suit?) And as much as I like J Crew and have shopped there for the past 20 years, literally, I never thought that I’d have a JCrew wedding dress– and not because they’re not pretty– they are but for someone as eccentric and crazy as I am the designs are pretty sober, especially the two dresses that come in the larger sizes that have empire waists–and therefor room for my growing belly. So, I left the J Crew windows on the computer open as I continued to search for other possibilities. I decided to use the search term ‘Caftan’ and finally, at shop called Thrifted and Modern, I found a dress that I thought we be ‘the one’.
Giddy, I began to text my bridesmaids and they all agreed that it was perfect–I ordered the dress. Done and done. Or so I thought. When the dress finally arrived two weeks later (due to a comedy of errors) I put on the dress and looked like a humerus combo of a hippie judge, a crazy old lady in a shmata and a gospel singer–and while I’ve got mad respect for all three of those types of ladies, it wasn’t the look I was going for our wedding.
So my search continued until I decided that I just wasn’t going to find my dream dress, I would have to make it. So this past weekend I got out my sewing machines–admittedly they hadn’t been out in a while–and I went downtown to the fashion disctrict and bought a bunch of lace and I made a dress– and dress that looked kinda great on my size 6 mannequin.
Only when I tried it on, I looked like a pregnant, drunk, flapper–not exactly the look I was going for either. Feeling more annoyed than ever I began to trim small pieces off of the dress in attempts to make it look better, until the whole damned thing ended up in shreds. Yikes. You can laugh. It’s OK. I was laughing too thorough all of this, admittedly it’s that kind of crazy laughter that’s borderline crying–but laughter none-the-less.
So Sunday as I am recounting this whole nightmare to one of my BFF’s and she suggests that I have her mom, (who is an amazing designer and seamstress) make the dress for me–something I didn’t think that I had neither the time nor the budget for. She and I now have an appointment on Friday, so keep your fingers crossed for me and let’s hope that I don’t show up stark naked to my wedding, and that this nightmare ends with a really happy fairly-tale ending, K?
First off, I love your blog and have been following for a while.
Secondly, I went through some similar struggles. Plus size 18-20, large chest – and didn’t want a white dress in my case. Sounds like it would be easier right? Not really. In the end, had a dress made, brought the seamstress pages and pages of samples of vintage dresses, bought the fabric at Mood in NYC on an unrelated trip there for a fraction of what the high end fabric shop in San Francisco was charging. And it all worked out great and was shockingly affordable. You will look great no matter what you wear!
Thanks so much for the encouragement!! I have the large chest issue as well, and even more so now that I’m pregnant. So glad to hear you dress worked out for the best!!
i’m so sorry! it does sound like quite the nightmare. i bet you are going to be so happy having a seamstress make something for you, though. with the good fabrics with some give that you mentioned, you are going to have SUCH a great dress. and just think, it will be custom made for you! i can’t wait to see it! just don’t give up on getting your dream dress yet! sometimes your dream dress turns out to much different than you thought. mine did!
I think you’re right– im sure the dress will be different (especially on my rounding figure) than I imagined– thank you for your kind words of encouragement!!
Oh my, I feel your pain, Justina. I was married right after my daughter was born, and trying on traditional wedding dresses while still having a baby body was ridiculous. I finally went to Holt Renfrew, which is like a Canadian version of Saks, and bought a dress off the rack. It was layers of the palest blush and cream tulle, had an empire waist, and hung gently over my body, rather than compressing me into mush :) You are super-lucky to be able to have something custom made, it’s going to be exactly what you want, and comfortable!
Your dress sounds so pretty! Empire waist is where it’s at– you’re so right about me being lucky to get a custom dress– I *am* a lucky lady! Thank you!
As I was reading through your post I was thinking that you should have a seamstress make it for you. I’m glad someone else thought to mention it to you :) Things will work out! Looking forward to seeing what the dress will look like.
Thank you so much! I’ll keep you updated!! :D
justina!
weddings are mad stressful, and your preggers, to boot! yikes!
why not a j-crew dress with modifications? you’re creative enough to bust somethin’ like that out and make it your very own.
but good luck with the seamstress. [: it’ll all work out!
eva.
evasuejane.blogspot.com
I thought about the Jcrew dress with modifications– it’s a really good idea– the only reason why I didn’t pull the trigger on that was because I culdn’t bring myself to pay $700 for such a plain dress– my thrifty side shows its face!
ah! i didn’t realize they were so spendy!! yeesh! /:
I’m typically to blogging and i really appreciate your content. The article has actually peaks my interest. I’m going to bookmark your website and keep checking for brand spanking new information.
Love the blog. SO sorry for such a frustrating search! Just want you to know – you will find your perfect dress! It’s out there – it may come from somewhere unexpected (Confession: I seriously found my dream dress at a shop in a neighborhood shop called Payless Bridal, yes, I know – awful! But it was perfect!) You will love it and look incredibly beautiful. You will be stunning, gorgeous and glowing. Don’t lose heart friend. <3 Jenni
well i see nothing wrong with payless bridal–especially if you found your dream dress on a budget! i;m wishing I had one in my neighborhood right about now. Ha. Thank you for your sweet words!
Oh- that sounds perfect. Good luck on Friday! Let us know how it goes. xox
will do sweetcakes, will do.
I feel your pain! I had similar crappy experiences while dress-shopping 5 years ago—and I wasn’t pregnant.
What about Rachel Pally? I have a 5.5 month old and LOVED her stuff while I was pregnant (loved it before and after too!) She has a sample sale going on this weekend, her jersey is supercomfy, looks great on a belly, and I think with the right accessories, you’ll get the caftan/boho vibe you love.
PS: congrats on the bun!
Rahcel Pally is a good idea– I do love her stuff and was considering a dress of hers for the dinner!
I can’t believe you just whipped up a pretty dress like that over the weekend. Bows down. Let me know if you need any help. Crossing all my fingers and toes for your dress. Sending awesome-positive vibesssss.. :D
Thank you my love!
I was thinking the same thing as Rebecca, Rachel Pally all the way! Seems like getting your own dress made is going to work out perfectly but you should definitely check out her sale this weekend for dresses during your pregnancy or any other events around the wedding. You’re going to look amazing no matter what. That’s something I have faith in :)
Awwww…thanks Aireka–still waiting on your RSVP by the way!
I appreciate that you write this. Finding the right wedding dress is a collaborative process and you display that. The perfect wedding dress does not exist, its more important to find the dress that suits your fashion needs and not unrealistic fantasy expectations.