Today’s post is part of the Jump Blog Tour. The tour is hosted by Stephanie Hall and Ashley Wilhite of ‘Jump: Into your business, your life, your dream’, a digital guide for new coaches & creatives. Find out more here.
When Stephanie and Ashley first invited me to be a part of this blog tour and to write about work/life balance I chuckled to myself a little bit. Me? Talk about work/life balance? But my life is SO FAR from balanced. Then I began to brainstorm a bit…Well, I can talk about the importance of delegation and hiring out parts of the job that I don’t totally love…or I can talk about learning to ask for help..or I can talk about making time for myself in the wee hours of the night or the crack of dawn…BUT, to be TRULY authentic, I then reasoned with myself, I should just be real about how UNbalanced my life actually is–especially since I became a mama. So that’s what this post is really about…In my life, work and life are like rivers flowing into bubbling oceans and back into rivers and evaporating into skies and then raining back into rivers–overlapping and dripping, crashing and melting. As a creative business owner, as a blogger, as a work-from-homer, as a mama and a wife, I’m afraid that work and life are not binary. Work is my life. My living room is my office. My husband is my editor, my daughter is my boss. It’s a mess, really.
I feel guilty a lot. I feel guilty when I’m working a lot that I’m not spending enough time with Ida, and that I’m missing time with her that I will never ever be able to get back. I even feel guilty some mornings for taking time to work out. I also feel guilty when I don’t take time to work out. Days I spend with Ida I feel guilty that I’m not earning. I feel guilty when weeks go by and I haven’t had the time to respond to people’s phone calls, or emails, or texts, or tweets, or instagram comments or blog comments. I feel guilty when I don’t have time to call my girlfriends or my grandparents. The truth is, no matter what I’m doing, I always feel like I’m missing something–and the truth is, I always am.
And I suppose therein lies the heart of this blog post…
Finding the work/life balance for me is about making peace with the fact that my life is not balanced at all. Sure I can have schedules and color-coded calendars and alarms on my phone to remind me of this and that and designated times where I turn off my phone. But there will always be days where I won’t get to my emails and I will make no money. There will always be days where I dizzily toggle all day between having a toddler and a laptop on my lap. There will always be days that I get to spend just hanging with Ida and Jason. There will always be days where I hunker down at a cafe and work for 8 straight hours wired on almond-milk lattes. The balance comes with a peaceful heart and with a calm, focused mind. The balance comes when I can get work in when I’m feeling inspired, get play in when I’m feeling frisky, and get sleep in when I’m feeling tired. Work/life balance for me is about being in the moment, it’s about focusing on the big picture and the long run–and perhaps keeping a little blow-up raft in the back pocket so that I can ride with the flow of the rivers into the bubbling oceans and back again….
How about you? How do you manage your time and balance ‘work’ and ‘life’?
Carole Poirot says
Oh, thank you for not pretending you’re super-organised, everything is perfectly balanced and falls beautifully into place! I have no work/life balance either, really. A day job, some freelance work, my blog, my family – all these just float into each other – or rather clash. I have huge stacks of emails that need answering, comments to reply to, deadlines looming and haven’t seen a gym from the inside for over a year now… My living room is my office and therefore making a clear cut separation between life and work is even harder than it would be if I worked in a “real” office – not that I have any desire to do that. Great post. x
susan says
Balance is bull****. Pardon my french, but once we all embrace that fact (which it seems you have), we will feel more at peace with it all. As a full-time WAHM of twins, I’ve had to come to terms with this. ;)
Jenny says
I agree. The only balance I do is trying to stay on my feet while I work out in my living room with my three year old climbing all over me. As long as things gets done it’s all good, the way they get done just depends on how my planets choose to align on any given day.
jody says
This reminds me of an artist interview that I loved–it’s all about how she learned how to tight rope walk, and she thought she would be finding her balance, but instead found her comfort in being unbalanced.
http://janefultonalt.blogspot.com/2009/04/on-tightrope-walking-and-balance-janine.html?m=1
It’s a great interview–she says it much better than I could.
Laurel says
Maybe the best work/life balance blog post ever. Love this– “Work/life balance for me is about being in the moment, it’s about focusing on the big picture…” Brilliant.
Meri says
I have read SO many posts on this topic and NONE have been as perfect as this! Balance is an illusion and like you said, all we can do is make peace with our personal juggling act. You rock (once again) Justina!
Amy M says
Hi Justina,
Early last year, I burned the “balance” metaphor on the Bonfire of Ridiculous & Impossible Expectations. Now I “juggle.” It’s always surprising when an adult loses her balance and wipes out, but it’s not a big surprise when she drops a ball or two (or three) while juggling ten or more – and especially when she is still learning how to juggle! On my walk to work today, I was thinking, “It’s no wonder I’m so overwhelmed all the time. Since I got pregnant at the end of 2008, almost everything in my life has been NEW and therefore unknown and possibly daunting and involves a learning curve. Consider: pregnancy, labour, the trauma of childbirth, nursing, the wonder and difficulties of infancy, weaning, return to work, daycare, toilet training, a new job, a new house, a new car, two miscarriages, a surgery for me, a surgery for my daughter, looking at kindergartens, and on and on and on. This is NOT a complaint or an excuse, but rather comfort and perspective. Take it easy.
The Weir House Blog says
Justina, this is so so crazy- i have been struggling with this lately and I happened to come across this article. How fantastic! It spoke to my soul. Thank you for this! I wish I could tell you how I have work life balance, but I’m with you on this one. I don’t. I will practice to be peaceful with that. Thank you for that realization.
debra says
I actually found it easier to work when my children where younger. Now they are more aware of my absences whether physical or mental. On the flip side their ages (6 and twins 8) allow them the understanding that I have a job just like dad and that things get hairy sometimes. Reminding myself to slow down and like you said, live in the moment is the best way to balance it all. Great post!
Christine says
Brilliant! Thanks so much for sharing this perspective.
I was just wrestling with this yesterday and today as I tried to balance the time and energy demands of my “day job” with “side” business of a vintage clothing Etsy shop I started a couple of years ago. Unfortunately I always find myself guilty as the demands of life outside of work take up more of my time…relationships, family, friends, “me time”, etc. and the side business gets pushed further and further off to the side, since I’m the only one it seems to matter to. Sometime I find myself wondering why I even bother when I have a job already have a job that pays the bills and it seems like I’m starting from square one every time I get a chance to work on my side project, or how I can ever compete with people who do this full time?! Anyway, how refreshing to think of work-life balance not as the most optimal time management with calendars and to-do lists, but as a spiritual balance of inner peace with life just as it is and the big picture in mind to guide you through the ebb and flow.
Thank you.
nicole valentine don says
you are freakin’ awesome! love this. thank you for sharing and giving me perspective as well x
Natalie Jarman says
I read recently that “balance is a journey not a destination” and that has totally changed my perspective and outlook in life. Everyday there is a new formula.
Hilary Yoder says
Oh my goodness Justina! I feel like you were writing straight to me! I am an artist, work from home-er, ministry director, teacher, wife, home owner, and songwriter and I never seem to have enough time for anyone or anything. I finish every day feeling guilty for what I wasn’t able to accomplish. I’ve been surviving rather than thriving these days and balance isn’t even in my vocabulary. I was so encouraged by your post and totally resonate with the need to be “in the moment.” Thanks for inviting us into your world and sharing your heart!
Jen Harr says
All I can say is…..wise words my dear. It took me much longer…when my kids were older than Ida to figure out what you have just described. i think I’m always going to be figuring it out with each new phase….but such a sense of relief now that I can cut myself some slack and roll with it all. Thanks for sharing this ;)
Molly Berry says
Love this, Justina.
numberle says
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Dino Game says
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Dino Game says
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