When I was thirteen my parents moved our family to a small town in Switzerland for a year while they taught at a nearby university. One big, immediately palpable cultural difference between Murten (the Swiss town) and Berkeley (where I grew up) was that in Murten, strangers smiled and said hello to one another. Not sure if it was a small-town thing, or a Swiss thing, but I remember thinking that it was really nice that everyone smiled and said hello to each other and that it was a dependable thing. Here, on the other hand, not so much. There is a lot of eye-contact aversion and awkward one-way smiles among strangers. Saying good morning to someone or smiling at a stranger and you risk getting snubbed.
Smiling is such a simple gesture. It takes so little effort but can go so far. Many studies suggest that smiling actually works to make folks happier, and if that’s not an added bonus, well I don’t know what is. Since that year in Switzerland I got into the practice of smiling at strangers and saying hello, or buenos dias when I pass neighbors on the street here at home, and I think it makes me a happier human.
I saw this little ‘smile’ reminder on the sidewalk and loved it. It also reminded me that as much as I love social media, there is nothing quite like the warmth of a genuine smile coming from a stranger. So take a few seconds to smile at strangers today, yes? You never know what this small gesture may bring.
Bunni says
That’s so right ! I love smiling to people too, and they usually smile back, which is nice.
This is something parisians should try ! I’ve lived in Paris for a few years and often go back and especially in the public transports people just don’t want to be noticed or have an interaction with anybody, they all want to avoid and be avoided so in the end everyone looks sad or in trouble.
Anyways thanks for reminding us to smile everyday !
debra says
Look up, beyond the phone AND smile! Great post!!!
Christian Totty says
Yes! I also really appreciate seeing stencil art with on point messages around my city. Plus smiling can lead to laughter, which is another rad healing tool ;) Thanks for sharing the positivity!
Mutaleni says
Beautiful!
Nicole Valentine Don says
Ever since spending last summer in the South of France- I have noticed the same thing! I notice there’s a lot more ‘good mornings’ and smiles in smaller towns as well. I love it and try to catch a few people off guard each day ;)
Kamila says
Yesterday, on my morning walk, this elderly couple smiled and said good morning.. I actually had a delayed response! How embarrassing is that. :)
Justina says
ha! Yes it happens. But a delayed response is better than no response, yes?
aprilneverends says
Oh I believe it’s relative. Overall, people in US are exceptionally friendly. I was experiencing cultural shock at first. Maybe not in big cities like NY, but generally speaking-lots of people will smile at you, wave at you, come up and say a compliment, like “I love your hair”..
Now where I from originally-people will get friendly once they’re in interaction already, but they won’t just smile for no reason, so to say, or come up to you unless they want to date you, or ask how to get somewhere. When I was visiting several years ago, after long time, I was smiling at everybody on the streets, and got some very suspicious looks back. When I said something nice to people during a very short interaction(say, office or store), people would blush a lot, and I realized I was making them more confused than happy.
I read an interesting article about how some cultures are more like oranges and some are like peaches..)) “Peach” is soft outside, and will be very friendly right away, but it has this hard pit inside, so it’s a long way until it will really open up. “Orange” will have a peel, and it will be hard at first, but you’ll get really close soon after it decides it’s okay to take the peel off. Something like that.
Every country I lived in was something different in terms how people communicate, and what they find appropriate..I find it truly fascinating. It always takes some time to adjust. But it’s great to have this experience.
Justina says
So interesting this peach/orange idea! Where did you grow up, may I ask?
aprilneverends says
I grew up in Kiev, Ukraine(part of the USSR then). We moved to Israel soon after I finished high school. I spent many years there too, and that’s where I consider my home to be. Then we moved back and forth between Israel and the US for some time (job relocation). Here, I lived altogether 7 or so years on the East Coast( close to NYC), before eventually moving to Southern CA. It’s been my sixth year here.
So, yeah, it’s so different everywhere. Extremely interesting. Even in tiny Israel you can feel a slight difference between people from North, and people from South. Not right away of course. But after you live somewhere for a while, you start detecting things, and small nuances, and you fall in love with language, because you can’t know it enough-it’s like with a person.
Although sometimes I quietly envy people that just stay put where they were born. There is something “right” about it, that I find hard to explain.
Now, sorry for a long, long post))
Justina Blakeney says
Ahhh yes this makes sense. My Hebrew teached growing up always used to say that Israelis are like the Sabra fruit-prickly on the outside and sweet in the center. That reminds me of your Orange/Peach metaphor. Have a great weekend! xoxo
aprilneverends says
Thank you! Happy Independence Day to you and yours!
Gretchen says
Your post had such an opposite affect on me then some of the others who have commented. I live in the South. Mississippi actually, and it would be considered rude to not smile or greet passerby’s. Yesterday as I was driving down the street an elderly man was placing small limbs from his yard on the roadside for pick up and we both waved and smiled as I drove by. Complete strangers but we shared a smile. I don’t know how I would do living in areas where such kindness wasnt expected. Thanks for the post. Made me cherish our Southern Hospitality a little bit more.
Justina Blakeney says
yes! This year I visited Austin for the first time and had that experience of Southern Hospitality–I was SHOCKED at how extremely nice everyone was!!
Cassandra E says
Clicked over from Thistlewood and thought I’d give a cyber smile. Thanks for lovely thoughts.
Spunkynonna! says
Another born and bred USA southern girl here…and wouldn’t trade our warmth and kindness you find here for the world! I find the true joy of random smiles and greetings comes in two ways…first what you extend to the stranger of course…and then in that cozy, nurtured feeling you get inside your own soul. The old saying, “When you give selflessly to another, what you receive in return is far greater” is great wisdom for this chaotic world…sometimes we will never know the impact the simplest of gestures will have on another!
Nancy Carr says
Justina, You are so right about the smiles. I live on Vieques, Puerto Rico which is a small island with a population of about 10,000 people. I have smiled and greeted everyone for the last 14 years here. It is just the way it is, and I love the feeling. I really need to relocate back to the states for health reasons and cannot make up my mind where I will be happy because of the friendliness and I am able to meet people from all over the world who come here to vacation. If you or any readers have any ideas where I can find this place in the states, please let me know. [email protected] Blessings
Laurie T says
We live in West Michigan and whenever we go out we always say hi and smile at people wherever we are. We might have some cold winters but we have some of the warmest hearted people. I agree that a smile goes a long way.