My little one is nine months old today. I can’t believe she’s been here for as long as it took her to be made in my tummy! She sits up really well now, has started to scoot (although hasn’t started crawling yet) and has a vocab of about 3 words (that she uses consistently in specific contexts) including, mama, dada, “teh’ (which means Kitteh–but has started to also mean dog, and sometimes even other babies). She eats all kinds of fruits and veggies, but has just started holding bananas on chowing down on them for real.
She loves blocks, puzzles and, of course, iphones. She’s quite a ham, and has been flirting pretty seriously with the Danes out here, pretending she’s shy at first, but then batting her little eye lashes and flashing her cute little baby teeth. Her big developments in the past month or so are waving hello and goodbye and clapping along to “If you’re happy and you know it” and “pattycake, pattycake.”
We are still breast feeding, and, honestly, it feels like we’re still far from sleeping through the night–she’s still sleeping in bed with us. All of the times we’ve tried to get her to sleep in her crib have been kind of half-assed and after leeting her cry for a maximum of about ten minutes, we pick her up. Neither Jason nor I feel like we could deal with ‘letting her cry’ all night (yet) even though I’ve heard all the stuff about ‘giving your child the gift of sleep etc. etc.’
If you have any advice about sleep training, I’m all ears. I would love to get some practical advice and hear different stories from you all about how you got through it. I must admit as much as now I’m used to waking up 3-4 times every night to feed her, I long to have my nights back.
It is a small price to pay, though, from all of the joy she gives to me each day. I love you Ida Sky. Happy nine months!
Don’t have any advice on sleep training but just know I’m right there with ya with my son waking up. He still sleeps in the bed with us most of the time. If we have enough energy we’ll put him back in his crib. I didn’t sleep train my first son and am not training this one. I trained myself. I mentally prepared myself for sleepless nights. It does get better. At one point they will start to sleep through the night or longer periods. Sage is 11 months and is sleeping about 7 hours now! Ida is so adorable! Six teeth! My little man is sticking with his two bit doesn’t stop him from gnawing down on food.
oh ida sky! it’s wonderful to see her & how she’s growing into her being. you’ve been amazing & you can tell the love that she has in her eyes through you & jason. yay to holding banans & chowin’ down!
You can always have a happy medium. We took a side off the crib and strapped it to our bed like a big co-sleeper. Dad and I switched sides of the bed so he was next to the crib. Whenever our daughter cried Daddy comforted her by just patting her back and letting her know he was there. He couldn’t nurse her so that helped break the night time feedings. After 3 nights she was sleeping much better, she still woke up a couple of times but would fall back to sleep with a back pat or two.
You wouldn’t have to let her cry “all night” to achieve an all-night sleep. For my first, i didn’t sleep train until she was almost a year, and I regretted it because I think I waited too long. With my second I sleep trained at 6-8 months and it went faster and was much smoother. Two nights of crying, no more than 10 mins at a time. I found The Sleepeasy Solution to be very helpful. It’s a more scaled down version of cry it out. You don’t leave her alone for long. It only took two nights and she’s a happier baby now and I’m sane again :)
I’ve been hearing about the Sleepeasy Solution from a few people–I think it sounds like the way to go :D
Hey! I’m glad to know I’m not the only mom of a 9 month old that still nurses multiple times a night :) We got it down to two at night and finally transition to her crib The Sleepeasy Solution did work for us a little bit. We were surprised how we just had to let her cry a tiny bit and down she goes! I’m looking forward to more people giving you advice and ideas, maybe I’ll try some of them!
I trained my first son around 5 or 6 months. I would put him in the crib to sleep and keep the monitor right on the pillow next to my eyebrow. Ha! When he cried I would go pat or rub his back while he was still in the crib and hang out in his room for a while. It started with me being right by the crib, then by the chair near the door, then by the door. I think keeping him in the crib or in his room helped. I also played soft music to keep him from being awakened easily by noises. For my second son I cannot take any credit. Since both boys share a room he began sleeping through the night in his crib around 4 months. I think he found comfort in knowing someone was in the room. Its so different with every baby. At least Ida has teeth! It took forever for my second son to get teeth. He had two little nibblets for the longest time and saliva on everything!
She’s such a doll! What a total cutie!
Don’t stress about the sleep training! My monkey is 18 months and we had to do it a few different times but she now sleeps all night. Whatever you choose to do will work for a while and then it might not. What a divisive parenting issue but I find that most people do a combination of cry it out and everything else. It’s so hard to listen to them cry but if you can do it, it does work (but its not a total solution). Eventuay we just needed our sleep too. I found the book Twelve Hours by Twelve Weeks to be a nice graduated approach that has ways to talk to your baby and yourself through the process. Just remember that it’s always hard to learn something new! I’m sure you guys will do great!
Rituals have helped my girl, she sleeps in her crib but we still usually feed twice a night. I put on a fan for white noise at bed time and a little stars night light, she also wears her Velcro swaddler. The swaddler only covers her legs and waist these days but it gives her a signal that it’s bed time. She would probably feed less often but I wake kinda automatically and diaper and feed before she ever feels wet or hungry. Good luck with Ida!
We used this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Sleepeasy-Solution-Exhausted-Parents-Getting/dp/0757305601
The authors are LA-based and can do home consults if needed, from what I hear…
Also, the ladies at the Pump Station are a wonderful LA resource :) Good luck!
We still have ‘trained’ our 16 month old daughter, Anouk. We NEED to! I am waiting on a library copy of “The No-Cry Sleep Solution” (the toddler version) as I am not a fan of letting kids cry and the book comes highly recommended… I think we should have nipped the sleep thing in the bud earlier, but Anouk is our first child (we have a second daughter due in August) and we have been happy to go with the flow for a long time.
Good luck! :)
Hi Justina, just some info for you on babies and bananas, according to Chinese medicine: http://giftofhealth.com/sites/Artcl2.html
oh no! Thanks for the heads up. She really loves them :(
Oh Ida, you are so beautiful! My darling almost one year old is Miss Independent. Never liked sleeping in bed with mum and dad and was in her own room by 3 months old! She sleeps through the night, but not without her pacifier and her pink fuzzy ‘bear bear’. Before bear bear she was in a swaddle. I truly believe Evie sleeps so well because we have a solid night time routine, she has her little comforters and a full belly from her milkies and three meals per day. Maybe you could start small? First sleep of the day (usually a pretty reliable one!) is in the crib. Once you have that down, add the afternoon sleep, and then night time. And then work on reducing the number of feeds over night? Its hard work, but not impossible. You guys will get there when the time it right! All the best!
oh goodness! in her own room by three months!?! Wow–every baby is so different! Thanks for your encouraging words.
I love this so much, I just featured it on my blog! What a darling idea for your monthly photos and milestones. Love it!
Kelly
volatizingtheesters.com
Happy birthday Ida! Way to go on the communication developmental milestones!!!!
AND GOOD JOB MAMA! You are one hard working woman and are obviously doing a superb job raising up Ida (and your business).
Just to commiserate – my 9 month old wakes multiple times thru the night to nurse. We haven’t done any night time sleep training but we have dialed in nap times during the day. (See no-cry sleep solution). Good naps = better sleep (supposedly) I am starting to see signs of this…
And you have to read this blog post about sleep books/training because it’s so true and hilarious. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ava-neyer/i-read-all-the-baby-sleep-advice-books_b_3143253.html
Ida is not the best napper either :( thanks for linking to the post–gonna click over and check it out now.
A full belly definitely helps and reduced nap time during the day also. However, I came to the conclusion that the parental influence is just as much. My oldest (six years) and my youngest (three months) are sleeping twelve hours a night since the age of four weeks and need little help to fall asleep, while my three-year old needs one of us by her side holding her hand in order to get to sleep and wakes up almost every night at around three in the morning. We tried to sleep train her several times but she was just too unhappy so we decided to let it go and go with her flow. I feel better now that she is more comfortable. I hope you find the right pace for you and Ida!
Hi Justina,
Your little girl looks just lovely :-) My son is 7 1/2 months and has been sleeping through the night for a few months now, I don’t know if what we did would work for you but at around 4-5 months I started to notice that when he woke up during the night he didn’t necessarily seem hungry so i tried just settling him back to sleep without a feed (actually that’s a lie, I got my husband to do it as he doesn’t smell of milk!) and he was really happy to just go back to sleep with a bit of a pat. It was at this point that we got a pacifier, only for re-settling purposes at night, it worked like a charm, straight back to sleep! Soon enough he stopped waking up for his middle of the night feed. We then did the same thing for the 4am feed and now he doesn’t eat at all between 8pm and 7:30am the next morning!
Anyway, good luck :-) There is no way I could let him cry all night either…
I think I’m gonna have to make my hubby bite the bullet and have Jason do it too!!Thanks for chiming in!
Oh man, there is no such thing as “sleep training,” and you SHOULD NEVER LET A BABY CRY THROUGH THE NIGHT!!! Never, never, never!
Here is the deal with sleeping : You know how you can feel when you’re really tired but you can’t sleep? Maybe you’re like me and you need a nap in the afternoon but can’t always have one. In that time, I’ll feel SO SLEEPY but can’t do anything about it, and it’s SO UNCOMFORTABLE! Now, I’m a grown-up, so I just power through, right? You’ve been there, yes?
That uncomfortableness is what Ida is feeling when she tries to go to sleep. When she’s in bed with you, she has a variety of comforts available to her that soothe the discomfort of falling asleep. When she is alone, she doesn’t like the feeling and doesn’t know what will come next.
Babies have to learn what falling asleep is, and the best way to do this is with routine.
If you begin a routine that finishes with sleep, babies start to recognize what this routine is, equate it with sleep, and go comfortably into it. (Ideally, all babies are different, though.)
Some people like to do a bath, some like to nurse in a rocker. It’s ok to let her fall asleep in your arms. If you choose to do this, it’s important to allow her to be fully asleep (you can pick up an arm of hers and drop it and she doesn’t notice). Then, you’ll put her down while she’s fully asleep and will wake up whenever it is time.
If you don’t want to rock her or hold her ’til she sleeps, then be prepared for crying. Never allow her to cry more than 20 minutes. Crying is an important communication tool for babies, and an important signal for you. Crying for longer than 20 minutes is akin to punishment, which is unnecessary and affects the way they feel loved. You could try letting her cry for a while, then going in and talking to her and rubbing her back until she falls asleep until she grows used to it.
There are a variety of options for teaching her how to fall asleep outside of your bed, but they take patience.
Also, it’s important to know that at nine months, “sleeping through the night” is 6 hours. If you put her down at 11p and she sleeps ’til 5p, that is considered very normal. Maybe you’ll get more, but don’t be concerned if 6 hours is the max.
So, that was a novel! I’m a professional nanny with 20 years of experience working with children of all ages and sleep arrangements. I’m giving you unbiased advice to help you figure out the sleep thing. If you want to talk more, feel free to e-mail me!!!
wow, Fenn, this is so helpful. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this–and 11PM – 5AM? I’LL TAKE IT!!
You’re welcome!
Hey! Justinia, right this same morningI was reading through Skype to my friend the technique that worked wonders with my little one when he was 9 months…I was also bresat feeding and getting no real sleep, not to say less and less…Check Save our Sleep by Tizzie Hall, different techniques depending if your child can stand or not…But much smoother than the controlled crying…I hope it will help…Let us know how you’re all doing! And fantastic blog!
Sorry for the typing mistakes, I was to quick!
“too” Oh my Good, shame, let’s just put it on the fact that I am French!
My son slept in our room for 8 months, although not in his bed. When we went to his check-up the pediatrician said, “so, he’s sleeping through the night right?” That was news to us, she said that I didn’t need to wake up and feed him overnight and that those feedings were just for comfort.
We immediately moved his crib back into his own room. It took about 2 nights of him crying, I would go console him, by patting his bottom, but not picking him up. We would go in every 5 minutes, but gradually lengthened that time until he eventually fell asleep within an hour. The next night was easier and then eventually he would just lay down on his own.
Our routine was to nurse, read a book, snuggle until he was drowsy and then lay him down and don’t make eye contact.
Hope this helps. I couldn’t listen to hours of crying either!
I have never responded to anything like this. But, just had to share. I have a grandbaby who stopped breathing when first born and slept on them till she was 6 mths.then slept in their arms, then graduated to sleeping in bed with them when she slept that is. She just turned 10 mths. and before that day she didn’t sleep and neither did they. We just accepted that she didn’t like to sleep. We figured the crying method wouldnt work because she wouldnt sleep anyway. She also had acid reflux and had tried EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN. We”ll dad put her to sleep that night like always but when she woke up 2 hrs later, dad said, let her cry. btw” That same day they took her off the bottle. They went in to tell her it was ok and walked out. Well, she cried for only 30 min. and fell asleep. Ever since then they have been doing this and she stays in bed 11-12 hrs. each night with hardly any crying at all. THIS WAS A MIRACLE!!!
Mon fils va avoir 9 mois. Je l’allaite toujours. Il se réveille enore la nuit parfois et je lui donne à manger. Il dort dans son lit depuis quelques mois. Au début, c’était aussi du co dodo. Nous le mettons au lit aux premiers signes de fatique, dès qu’il se frotte les yeux, et, nous lui faisons un petit rituel (le tour de sa chambre, en lui montrant sa déco) avec un jouet mouton, qui joue de la musique plusieurs minutes. Il s’endort facilement en se tournant vers ses peluches désormais… Bon courage avec votre toute belle petite Ida.
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