It’s been a while since I did a post about my post-pregnancy body. I spent the last week in Palm Springs and wore my pre-prego bikini for the first time since giving birth to Ida. I also went to my local super-expensive-but-it’s-worth-it bra shop and was re-fitted for a few much-needed new bras. Then there was this controversial pin that led to this incredible art project— and this all got me thinking about my post-pregnancy body all over again.
If you follow along here you’ll know that for the past (almost year!) I’ve been working out three days a week with a personal trainer, Amanda. Under her caring guidance, I’ve altered my diet pretty seriously too, taking out about 75% of gluten and dairy and adding more veggies in their stead and finding little ways that work for me to be healthier. I am most certainly in better shape than I was even before I got pregnant. In the past ten months I’ve lost over twenty lbs, several inches off several places, and about 5% of my body fat and gained strength, discipline, confidence and just an overall healthier lifestyle. And I can honestly say that when I get out of the shower, I no longer avoid the mirror. I can look at my naked self with a certain amount of “I can work with this” attitude. I look pretty good to me.
That having been said, my body has changed. I am a mother now, and just as every other aspect of my life has changed with motherhood, this aspect has changed too. I did the coco butters and the argan oils, but I got the stretch marks all over my belly anyway. Working out and losing weight has totally helped with the ‘flap‘ that was my belly–it’s more like a little shelf now, and the scar from the C-section is still tucked quietly underneath the shelf, but all in all I feel good about myself again–having arrived at a kind of new normal.
When I decided to post the above photo in a impulsive moment to my Instagram account, I did so with feelings of pride. I’ve come far, and it’s been hard. I’ve sweat my ass off (or my flap off as the case may be) and I’ve arrived to a place where I feel alright. I surprised myself when I got emotional after putting that photo into the world. I had tears in my eyes. Then your responses were loving, and generous and empathetic. Thank you.
I’ve spent the last two years pulling the the extra-long tanks down over the high-est waisted pants, trying my best to tuck, squeeze and fold my belly into hiding, and now I’m done.
My belly is out. It’s round and soft and jiggly. I have stretch marks. I have an incredible daughter. I am healthy. I feel awesome. I am grateful. I am strong. I am owning that shit.
If you haven’t tried it, you should. It feels amazing.
Melissa @ Bubby & Bean says
I love this post so much. So much. You are gorgeous. And an inspiration to this new mama of a 6 month old struggling with the new body I see in the mirror. Thank you.
Justina Blakeney says
Thank you mama. You’re doing great. The first six months was SO hard!
Clarissa Nicole says
I love this post, Justina! I think it’s important for these photos to be normal. We see all of these airbrushed, photoshopped women and have this horrible image of ourselves. Body confidence is the best thing and it should be showcased.
Stay awesome, lady. :)
Alea says
I can not tell you how much I love this! Every word resonates with me so deeply. You’re a mama tiger & those are your lovely stripes. I’ve got some of my own & work every day to feel comfortable in my own skin…after five years it’s still a task. However I wouldn’t trade any of it, because of the gift I got in return. You rock!
Stacey says
This is amazing :) beautiful !! If only there was more photos like this one. Natural and amazing, thank you this is exactly what I need to hear your strength gives me strength thank you . You have worked hard you deserve it
head in the sun says
Woo-hoo!
Go belly!
Melissa says
Just looked at the art project and it’s Amazing. I’ve never seen that many comments on a Pinterest pin before. I applaud the artist (as a mom and as someone who’s been self conscious about my weight ever since getting pregnant all this years ago)
annton says
and every mark is a sign of love, devotion and of strength. xoxo
Leslie-Anne says
A real image of a real body is a refreshing change from what we’re used to seeing in the media. Good on you. You are beautiful.
susan // fleurishing says
thank you for sharing this Justina…you’re a beautiful inspiration! xo
carolina elizabeth says
Your photos have been such in inspiration to me as an artist, but this was truly personal. THANK YOU! I understand the frustration with weight control too clearly. This year I will turn 40, This means that I’ve spent almost a decade overweight. I decided in January enough was enough. I got a pedometer, and signed up for a free calorie counter website. It took me about six months, but I lost 27 lbs. For some reason, I have plateaued and can’t seem to lose the last 13 lbs. Your reminder of the good feeling of a healthy state is wonderful inspiration. THANK YOU for being so candid. You are a beautiful lady. Congratulations on all your hard work. Kindest regards, Carolina Elizabeth
Rebecca says
And a beautiful mother you are Justina, this is strong! If there is one thing I’ve learned from years of working with women post-baby (and as a Midwife) is watching all it takes – heart, body and soul – to show the world their beautiful bodies. I love this so much, thank you gorgeous! Owning it!
XO Rebecca
Bekka says
I love you!
Justina Blakeney says
Love you too Bekka <3
meliisa kier says
As a mother of 5 and the last 4 c-sections, oh how I appreciate this post. So often as woman, the standard out high, and quite frankly down right silly. I love that you are getting healthy not focussing on getting “thin”. Thank you for a wonderful post
Meri says
This is courageous and beautiful. Thank you Justina!
Julianna Morlet says
“I look pretty good to me.” Love it! I’m currently in te beginning stages of owning it :) Thanks for the kick in the booty.
Crysti says
Are you married? How does your husband (if you are married) feel about your body as it is now? My baby belly is just like yours but every man I’ve ever met, including my son’s father has been utterly disgusted by it and they make it a point to tell me that my stretch marks ‘creep them out’. I’m with someone like that now but I’m trying so hard to fix my body. I find it hard to believe I’ll ever find any partner who will accept my body as it is.
Justina Blakeney says
Crysti, I’m so sorry to hear that. My husband tells me every day that he thinks I am beautiful and sexy. He loves my belly because he knows that it brought him our little Ida. Your body is not broken and doesn’t need fixing. It sounds like what needs fixing is the attitudes of these people who are making you feel this way. Once you have your confidence and sense of self back, you will find a partner who loves every bit of you. You deserve better!! Sending love your way.
annton says
dear crysti, reading this breaks my heart. it’s the men who say that, who are broken. broken and weak, somehow distant from their hearts. they’re mislead by a faked beauty concept and should be taught to understand real beauty. be proud of your body. it was strong enough to carry a baby and to give birth to a new human being. how could the marks of it, not be beautiful! you’re beautiful!
Haley says
I love how confident you are and how your positive attitude rubs off on me. I was feeling down about my own Csection belly until I read your first post and my whole mindset shifted. Thank you for sharing and letting us be part of your journey.
RJ says
You’re beautiful
Gia says
A couple years ago we traveled to Italy on a family trip and I was so impressed to see all the Italian women in bikinis no matter their body shape. It was so inspiring. There was one woman who had a similar post baby body to myself; she had rounded with age and carrying children yet she looked so confident in her bikini. Over and over I saw examples of real beauty and women being confident with themselves in a way I never experienced in America. The men were so respectful too and appreciative of the real women bodies. One husband lovingly applied sunscreen to his wife while their kids played in the public pool. I hadn’t thought about wearing a bikini in years but after that trip I went out and found one that I felt confident wearing.
Thank you so much for this post. It’s a great reminder that self confidence comes from strength, hard work, and sometimes a little inspiration.
Alice says
Hi !
I’ve discovered your blog a few month ago and i always thought you were beautiful.
I had a sleeve gastrectomy last year and have lost 80lbs in 6 months. I really like my body now even though it’s not perfect. The photo project you linked to resonated with my own experience. These bodies of ours are our story. I haven’t had a child but i too have stretch marks on my belly (and other places of my body). It’s part of who i am. I’m embracing it. I’m real.
Thanks for being so honest with us. You are inspiration.
tannaz says
i had pretty major surgery for uterine fibroids last year, and now have a scar similar to yours. i don’t expose the belly often, but i do have a sense of ownership: this thing happened to me, i have this scar, it’s not what you (whoever “you” may be) may think of as beautiful, but it’s mine. it’s me. so many women have scars like these from c-sections or whatever else, but it’s so rare that we actually see images of them. i can’t tell you the deep, warm sense of comfort i felt at seeing your photo. it’s courageous to broadcast this stuff, and it means a lot.
Rebecca Davis says
Justina! What a beautiful thing you’ve done for yourself and for all of us who read your blog. But I think this is the biggest gift to Ida. So often, women hear other women (mothers, friends, sisters, etc) tearing themselves down and it just becomes normal. With Ida hearing and reading your words, she’ll have an easier time loving herself as much as you love her and that is an amazing thing. Bravo!
Rachel says
Love it. Thanks for the kick ass inspiration.
Tangerine Meg says
So delighted – and thankful – that you shared your beautiful healthy belly photo. This kind of courage greatly increases the humanness quotient of the internet! Love Meg x o
stephanie@babasouk says
Girl you rock. I am still working on accepting my post 2.5 months jiggly belly and reading your post gives me strength and makes me laugh about myself which is the best therapy. XO!
Yanira Garza says
This has given me chills. After dealing with kids calling me anorexic all my life, I was lost when I gained a lot of weight with my daughter. I went from 115 to 168. It took me two years after to get a trainer and get in shape. I finally had the body I always wanted and then I had my son. My skin is looser this time, my boobs are oddly shaped, and my backside that once defied gravity has become a lumpy eye sore. But my husband thinks I’m sexy, I do it all with two kids in tow, and it took one insult from a family friend for me to stand up and say “I make milk, tore my body to create life, and I’m still rocking it. So F*&$ it! I look damn good for 2 kids.” and that was that. Own it. Damn you gave me chills. YES. A million times yes.
Becki says
What a wonderful post! I’m so inspired. I wish I were at the point you are with your body, but unfortunately I’m not there yet. I’m trying though!
Sylvia says
Justina, what a beautiful post from a beautiful woman and soul. Your belly is more beautiful than any rippled air brushed photo from a fashion magazine. Every ruffle, dimple and dot is part of the tapestry of the birth narrative of your lovely daughter Ida Sky. Rock on with your good self! :-)
Sarima says
That’s great! I just started wearing my bikini as well. But by looking at picture you may want to check for diastasis recti. I never knew it existed and I discovered I had it 6 years after having my first child. Google it on you tube to see if you have it. If you don’t great ,but if you do be careful with exercises you do because you can make it worse.
Vittoria says
thank you for thid post, Justina!
Sarah says
I stumbled across your blog because I am a design student and you look like me! That is to say, it was nice to see someone who identifies with multiple cultures — my mother used to walk up to other mixed families when I was growing up and CLAP because we felt like such a rarity in our little town!
My mother is 61 now and had five of us in nine years. She has spent the last 25 years since my little sister was born on dozens of different diets, buying infomercial-touted exercise products, and generally hating her body. She has stretch marks, but of course she does! She carried the five of us and we don’t have skin that heals easily. Unfortunately, my father is verbally abusive, never tells her that she is beautiful (she is absolutely the most beautiful person inside and out), and has told her that she is a “fat whale” and that no man would want her. Last year, during my studio finals, I couldn’t reach her on the phone (I turn to her for a laugh and cat pictures almost daily), and had the feeling something was up when none of my siblings could reach her. Later that night, it came out that my father had encouraged her to borrow multiple thousands of dollars to have liposuction surgery, potentially endangering her life and reinforcing the very wrong idea that she needs fixing. I love her to pieces, and the thought of it all brings tears to my eyes. Over a year later, she is still unhappy and has a surgery scar, still hates her stretch marks, and is working a part-time job post-retirement to pay for the surgery. I am going home for winter break tomorrow and am going to show her your post. Thank you, thank you, I cannot thank you enough for sharing your truth and for showing that there is strength in loving your body and appreciating its power.